[...] Is It Shallow To Go For Looks? 3 Comments [...]

It is natural to be initially drawn to the way a person looks. However, inner beauty will ALWAYS trump physical beauty in my eyes. You can be the most physically beautiful person in this world, but if you are cruel and narcissistic, I will fail to see you as anything but ugly.

It is extremely rare to encounter people who possess both physical and spiritual beauty, as well as intellect.

It is not shallow to admire the way somebody looks…but never lose sight of the fact that much of what people perceive as being “beautiful” is actually an illusion. Most people require time and effort to achieve a certain look. Very few people can simply be knockout gorgeous without minimal effort. One needs to pay close attention to hygiene above all. If you rarely shower and your breath is foul, you will not be attractive. In addition, beauty is completely subjective. It depends on individual perspective, ideals, and preferences.

We all have different things that appeal to us on a personal level. I once dated this guy who wasn’t handsome by my definition, but was cute in his own way. However, as time went by, I was turned off by his attitude. He was one of the most hateful individuals I’ve ever met. He was sexist and racist and insecure. He was promiscuous. He smoked pot on a daily basis. He also came from an extremely superficial family. All I could see was ugliness in this person because he was so unkind to everyone around him, unless he needed something. Lots of girls liked him (myself included) because he seemed to be exciting, but the truth is that he was very ugly inside. I stopped talking to him a few years ago because I was so disgusted by the constant verbal and emotional abuse.

Then I met my husband. He is tall, with blue eyes and a quirky sense of humor. He is intelligent and very cocky about it. I believe most women would like him just because of his playful personality. I was attracted to him the minute we met. I feel that he liked me based on my whole “vibe”. I wasn’t the typical snotty girl he was accustomed to dealing with. I simply enjoyed talking with him like we were old friends. He has this infectious way of making people like him almost immediately. He is perfectly beautiful in my eyes, with all the normal little “imperfections” that all human beings have. I know he didn’t think I was anything special in the early phase of our relationship, but he has grown to appreciate that I am beautiful in my own special way. His ex-girlfriends all tried (unsuccessfully) to push him to commit. I’m the one he married. And I might be a “Plain Jane” or “average” or “dull” or “nothing special” to some people, but I know my worth as an individual.

That is something no one can take away from me ever again.

And once again, it provides us with one of those classic dichotomies where both choices are from the same, illogical side of the coin; the logical side of the coin is completely dismissed.

Offering the ultimatum of ‘having a little with ease’ or ‘having a lot with toil and struggle’ is akin to a salesman offering the choice of ‘green car’ or ‘red car’ and omitting the ‘no car’ choice altogether.

Really, the choice should simply be ‘have a little and be partially happy’ or ‘have a lot and be very happy’. Remember the definition of ‘Shallow’:

- Lacking depth of intellect, emotion, or knowledge.

To state that it is BETTER to have a little and be happy than to have a lot and be unhappy, is to assume that that which composes ‘a lot’ is the vain, undesired, and not the result of rational, intelligent thought.

That which that makes one happy improves the quality of one’s life, and hence is generally considered desirable after rational, logical thought. It’s a natural human longing to pursue happiness, so that which fits the bill is rightfully desired.

Who is the happiest man:

1) The man who hasn’t stretched himself in his one and only life, is hard-up because of it, and drives a third-hand, fifteen year old rust bucket of a car?

Or…

2) The man who has pushed himself in life, who has exercised his immense capability as a human, has a burgeoning business, is making some nice dough, and has a Ferrari and an Aston Martin in the garage?

The Bible would tell you that the first man is the happiest, because he ‘has a little and hasn’t toiled much for it’.

Logic will tell you it is the second man, since he has found his life purpose, is being rewarded for it, and is attaining that which makes his life more comfortable and pleasurable. Hence, that which improves the quality of one’s life is NOT the result of shallow desire, ‘chasing vain things’.

Indeed, the first man would appear to be the shallow man chasing vain things, since no man in his right mind dreams of driving a fifteen year old rust bucket of a car. And any man that tells you he does is a liar.

So where do YOU stand on this, Hudson?

Thanks for the comment ;-)

in the book of ecclesiastes

it says that it is better to have aa little with quiet

than to have alot with much toil and chasing after vain things.

go figure…