Yes, Your Bum Looks Big In Those Jeans

This post on truth and honesty was originally written and published on 17/02/2008 on my old site, ‘The God Is You’, and may conflict with my current philosophy.

SO WHAT IS your reply to that age-old question, “Does my bum look big in this?” I’ll bet your stock answer is, “No, of course not, babe!”

And you’re probably not alone. Such is the default stance of people these days to say the accepted and appeasing rather than actually telling the truth, just to remain on side. Telling people what they want to hear may seem like the short-term answer to preserving the status quo, but in the long-term, it spells disaster.

It’s a strange example I’ve used to illustrate my point, yes, but it’s a famous one. You’re probably wondering what my answer to this question would be, right? Well, needless to say, I’d tell the truth. Objectively, although clothing can enhance certain features of a body, they don’t make someone look big or small. If your bum looks big in those jeans, it’s because it is big. End of story.

The Emperor’s New Clothes

The secret here is to be the kid in the street that calls out the emperor wearing no clothes. You remember the fable, don’t you? A couple of dirty, rotten scoundrels show-up at the emperor’s palace and convince him that the invisible clothing they are offering him is of a cloth so magnificent, only the noble can see it. “The foolish, on the other hand”, they continued, “are ‘blind’ to its brilliance.”

Not wanting to appear a fool, the emperor willingly obliged, and hired the ‘tailors’ to make him a fine outfit from this magic cloth. Donning his new, noble garments, he strolls though his kingdom, and everyone, not wanting to appear foolish, comments on the beauty his new garb. All is well until he nears a young boy who, on being young enough to be free of any denial of reality, unabashedly exclaims, “Why is the emperor wearing no clothes?”

The moral here, is that people can – and will – pretend to each other, as well as themselves, that something is completely different than it actually is. This distortion of reality can fool you. Your subconscious can believe anything you feed it, if you convince it enough. And the more you lie, the more of a shock it is when you finally come round to acknowledging your reality.

The Smoking Ban

The ‘emperor’ fable is, of course, a metaphor. You could substitute the emperor’s invisible clothes with, say, the smoking ban that was imposed on England in 2007. Before I continue, I should point out that I don’t smoke.

The smoking ban was hailed by non-smokers country-wide as being a step toward both freedom for non-smokers and the health of the nation. The ’scoundrels’, here, are the government, the ’smoking ban’ is the clothes, and you are the ‘emperor’. I am the kid in the street calling out the emperor wearing no clothes…

How? Because I am the one telling you that the smoking ban was not a step toward freedom. It was yet another step away from freedom. Any law passed that gives, is a step toward freedom. Any law passed that taketh away, is a step away from freedom. I am not denouncing law, full-stop – some laws are good, as they protect man, to keep him free to live. But let me explain when they are not good.

Society is made up of individuals. All of those individuals are vastly different to each other. Some like to surf, some like to ski. Some like football, some like rugby. Some like men, some like women. Some like both and… some like neither. Some like to smoke, some don’t.

The Opposite Of Freedom

A law that throws every individual from a group together, with an intent that is good for some and bad for others – is not a step toward freedom, since it is stopping some individuals from doing something they like (in this example, smoking) – by force, as opposed to voluntary action.

The emperor, my friend, is well and truly naked in this one.

Anyway, back to the jeans example. I remember years ago, I was at a seminar, and the speaker put today’s opening question out to the audience to find out what our answer would be if we were asked. I stood up and told the speaker that if asked by a woman if her ‘bum looked big in a pair of jeans’, I’d reply, “Wow! What a pair of shoes that is!”

Of course, I got a few laughs. This is called the ’smokescreen’ answer, since its purpose is to distract the person in evasion of answering the original question. The problem with this is, unless you’re dealing with a goldfish, they’re unlikely to forget their initial question, and it will still stand.

The point of this article though, was to highlight the power of telling the truth. In reality, if asked by a woman if her bum looked bum in a pair of jeans – and it actually did look big in the jeans – I’d tell her, “Yes your bum is big.” Ouch! I can feel the cheek-pain from the slap at just the thought!

But consider the alternative. Suppose I lie to her, and tell her bum is fine – for whatever reason (not to upset her, and to preserve an un-slapped face). Suppose I keep lying to her every time she asks me. Eventually, she’s going to wind-up with a massive bum, and the realisation that the man she is dating is a weak liar, who’s just trying to appease her to keep the peace. This is one sure-fire way to taint a relationship. Does she really want a weakling that can’t stand up and tell the truth? Do I really want a girlfriend with a massive bum?

But by telling the truth, the worst that can happen is getting your face slapped. That is the price you pay for being honest, and searching for someone of equal honesty. A slapped face.

Self-Denial

But with the slapped face comes the discovery that the person whom you are with cannot handle truth when it doesn’t suit them. They are weak and live in self-denial, and would rather live their life pretending that the emperor is dressed in the latest Gucci outfit than strolling around in his birthday suit. If that’s the kind of person you want to build a life with, so be it. If not, take your slapped face and get out of there. You are free to live another day.

If you’ve chosen your partner well, your honesty will get a favourable response – if delayed. They’ll be pleased that you picked-up on their gaining weight that they didn’t want to gain – and they’ll be glad that they have a partner with big balls enough to stand up and tell it like it is. And with your non-stinging cheeks, you’ll realise that you have a partner that is as strong and honest as you are.

This article has been a crazy way to explain the virtue of honesty and facing reality, but the premise is the same, no matter how big the issue. The conclusion is – don’t fake your reality. You’ve only got one shot at this life. Don’t lie to yourself and waste your existence – tell the truth.

It’ll only come back and bite you in the arse. No matter how big it is.

To freedom,

Scotty Stevens
The Humanpreneur
"mecum et incipio et finio"

Disclaimer: As per my Terms And Conditions, this post reflects my philosophy at the time of writing, and may not necessarily correlate with my life's outlook as you read it, now.

Attention Ezine Editors & Site Owners...
Feel free to reprint this article in its entirety in your ezine, blog or on your site as long as you do not modify the content AT ALL, leave all links in place AND include the resource box as listed above.

What Next? Well, You Can... - Leave a comment about this post (if enabled for this post) - Discuss this post in The Scotty Stevens Show FORUM - Help feed me by kindly making a donation - it's much appreciated! - (allows you to email, add or send this post) -   Click here for this article feed - Hire me for speaking or coaching - Go to the shop - Become a member (free)