Who The Hell Are You?

This post on identity and self-awareness was originally written and published on 14/03/2008 on my old site, ‘The God Is You’, and may conflict with my current philosophy.

A FEW YEARS ago, I was talking to a friend of mine, and he was lamenting about how he was hating being single, and how he wished he could attract a girl into his life. I gave him a couple of tips and suggested he read some books and sign-up for some free email information about how to become more attractive to women.

He immediately dismissed the idea, leaning back and folding his arms, Buddha-like, remarking that he didn’t want to – and didn’t believe in – “trying to be someone you’re not.” And that was that. In my life so far, if I’ve heard that line once, I’ve heard it a million times. It comes from the same doctrine as classics like, “just be yourself”, “be thankful for what you’ve got” and “don’t lose your identity”. Stay with me – I haven’t even got going, yet…

So What Does This Mean? (Pay Attention To This)

So what does someone mean when they say they ‘just want to be themselves’ and what makes them say it? When is one being someone they’re not? What makes someone who they are? Is it right to strive to be ’someone you’re not’? What makes someone feel threatened at the mention of striving for something more?

There’s a great line from the film, “Batman Begins”. I love this film. I love the whole cool, superhero thing. Fighting evil, and being cool with it. Kind of like what I’m doing, here… At one point, our hero, Batman, with dramatic, over-the-shoulder effect, philosophises, “It’s what we do that defines us.” I have to admit that this line made me think. Is it what we do that defines us?

In some ways, it is. The manner in which someone spends their days says a lot about them. It speaks volumes about their goals, pride, ambition, personality, home life, address, etc. Imagine a road sweeper, for instance. Do you think your typical road sweeper has designs on becoming a surgeon? Probably not. Do you think he can command a room? Probably not. Do you think he lives in a big house? Probably not.

Now consider your average stockbroker. What about him? Do you think he dreams of picking up crisp packets from the motorway? Probably not. Do you think he’s a shrinking violet in a public gathering? Probably not. Do you think he lives in a council (producer-funded) property? Probably not.

How To Go From Zero To Hero

So with two people at opposite ends of the spectrum, how does one go from spending their days picking up litter, to making a client a cool million in a strategic investment deal? Is it possible to just throw down your broom, squeeze into your one suit that you save for special occasions, march down to the city into the first mirrored skyscraper you see, and get on with your new job of creating millionaires? No.

So whilst ‘what we do’ does define us to a certain extent (and trust me – it really does) – it’s only half the story. It really comes down to VALUE. I’ve spoken about this before in terms of relationships – business, friends and lovers – and the same philosophy exists when concerning yourself.

Value attracts value. In everything. Anything of a higher value will naturally steer away from that of a lower value, and likewise, anything of a lower value will repel that of a higher value. A person’s value is determined by their morals, values, goals, life purpose, ideals, pride and self-respect. A person’s material wealth, lovers, friendships, business partners, home, etc, are the physical manifestation of their value.

The road sweeper lives in a council house, drives a spare part patchwork of a car and lives on burgers because he devalues himself by aiming low, and hence his ‘career’ and subsequent living conditions reflect this. He is not living as a humanpreneur.

The stockbroker, on the other hand, lives with a beautiful woman of clean teeth, drives a Maserati, with a gym membership card in his Valentino suit pocket – all because he values himself highly. He became the high value man that he is, from whatever value starting point (determined by his formative year programming) he was left in, and consequently attracted a lifestyle of equal value.

Value attracts value. EVERYTIME.

What You Were Born To Do

Humans are born to search for – and undertake – a life purpose. You can read about mine on the ‘About’ page. I created the word, ‘Humanpreneur’ to describe the perfect existence of a man: to honour his potential as a human, to strive for something great that asks of him his all, and to validate this with the undertaking of said life purpose.

It took me a while to find my life purpose. A lot of soul-searching. Much trial and error. Multiple discoveries. It wasn’t until I was twenty-two – raw from the break-up of my first real relationship – on waking-up the following morning in the bed of strange girl after my first ever one night stand, and with a new business awaiting my sculpting – that I learnt of another world. A world where I was the boss.

But with the discovery that there was more out there than the society-preached mediocrity, came the realisation and self-awareness that I was a million miles away from the man that was to achieve it. With every two steps forward, came a step backwards. I sometimes didn’t like what I found. But I was moulding a vision, and it was too powerful to let go to a fear.

What Being Human Is All About

It’s far too valuable to sacrifice; and I won’t. Anything that surrounds me now is the reflection of my current value, and will be replaced accordingly with alternatives of higher value as I, myself, increase in value. This is surely what being a human being is all about. Anything less is self-sacrifice, is ignoble AND is a concession of defeat to fear and/or laziness.

It’s a sad fact that the nearest most people get to increasing their value is the qualification for, and pursuit of a career they don’t really want, the justification for which is verbalised with yet another classic nil by mind idiom, “Nobody likes their job, anyway.” Yep. Most people will spend years and thousands on a career they forced themselves to undertake because they ‘know how it works’ and it pays all right. This is not a life purpose, and therefore does not increase your value as it should.

But why will someone happily trip over their pride in their exclamation that it’s noble to ‘be yourself’? Is it fear of striving for something better? Is it laziness? Consider my friend who waved away the suggestion of becoming the man who would attract the women he wanted, opting instead to remain the same, honouring that time-weathered maxim befitting a tree, “If it happens, it happens.”

Yet, conversely, these same people will happily, lovingly spend good time and money increasing their value in ‘video game world’ blasting cartoon aliens, or down the local pub on their favourite, gold-plated barstool, OR in the town bookkeepers, picking a winner from a pack of twenty mutts.

But in reality, these are not overall increases in value, since they do not form part of a life purpose. They are merely pursuits specialised in the act helping one to forget the importance, or indeed the need, of a life purpose. So they ultimately detract from your ultimate value, making you less valuable and bringing you closer to death in the process. Awesome.

Do You Really Know What You’re Capable Of?

As human beings, we have the capacity to be brilliant. We did not build skyscrapers, hospitals and computers by swinging from trees whilst eating bananas. To strive for anything less than what you’re capable of is just lazy. Fear may be a reason for your short-shooting thus far, but to concede defeat to it is babyish. I’ve had my fears throughout my life. I still have some. But I refuse to lay down and let them urinate all over me.

Quite simply, the life that I choose and the life purpose I am pursuing, require me to be a man far in excess of the man I am now. And that’s fine. Every day is another battle with my fears, and another step in the direction of becoming that man. I look forward not only to the achieving of my goals, but also of the man that I will have had to become in their realisation.

When someone says to me, “I don’t want to be someone I’m not” it never usually fails to invoke anger inside me. My annoyance is down to a complete bemusement at how another human being can happily denounce any pursuit of greatness, in favour for a life of mediocrity. To live below your capability is a complete lack of self-awareness, and a lack of respect of yourself and your time on this earth. There is no second life waiting at the hands of a scythe-wielding, hooded skeleton.

I have no time for those that wail that the ‘good life’ is for the ‘lucky other half’ rebuffing any suggestion that this ‘good life’ of which they speak is fairly earned, and choosing instead to celebrate a life of self-sacrificial breadcrumb-scrounging. And if you have any respect for your life and time, you should be equally as scrutinous of your human interaction partners.

Here’s How To Live

So, in conclusion: who are you? You are what you value yourself. And your degree of value can be measured by how closely you are living as a humanpreneur, defined as:

1. One who celebrates his being human, respects its infinite potential, a logician, who dismisses any faith in the unproven – living only by the objectively proven, and who validates his existence with the choosing and undertaking of a purpose designed to forever increase his value by growing himself mentally, emotionally, physically and socioemotionally – with the exercising of his brilliance, thereby enjoying his life in the pursuit of a happiness not experienced by other life forms on this earth. 2. One who fights for the freedom of human beings, and who preaches that this is the key to the survival of the human race, its advancement, and, hence, continuation into further generations.

Any step forward as a humanpreneur is an increase in value. Simple as that. If you want the fast cars but don’t want to do the things you have to do to attain them, you are admitting low value and the therefore the concession of a life without them. If you want a life of beautiful women, but refuse to change to attract them, you are admitting low value and therefore the concession of a life without them. If you want to speak in front of crowds, but lament that you are too scared to do so, you are admitting low value and therefore the concession of a life without the fruition of this dream.

With the increasing of value comes the losing of some personality traits, and the gaining of others new to you. If you want to be a speaker, and you are shy, you will have to quash the shyness with a new-found strength and confidence. Yes, this means becoming someone you’re currently not. This is what life is. Grow or wilt. Be ‘yourself’ and you’re basically admitting that you are not the right person, accepting that you choose to stay the same and thus will live a life devoid of that which you desire.

It’s Good To Grow

There is no shame in changing yourself – as long as it’s in the right direction – to become something better. You will always be yourself. You may not be the same person at fifty years old as you were when you were ten. But you’ll be a new and better version of yourself.

The man was the outspoken one in his class at school, the leader, the house captain. At fifty years old, he now runs his own company with a large staff that all answer to him. His old school friends say, “John’s the same man now as he was at school. He never tried to be anyone he was not.”

His friend was the shy kid in class, who used to sit at the back of the room, too scared to utter a word lest he turned heads his way and was put on the spot. His school reports documented his failure to participate in class discussions, his inability to lead a group and subsequent poor report grades. As a man, he decided he wanted more out of life, realising that the man he was currently was not going to get him there.

He strives to become the man that will get him to where he wants to get to, enjoying himself in the process, and his friends say, “Why is Scott trying to be someone he’s not? Why doesn’t he just be himself to get what he wants?” If it were that easy, everyone would be living their life purpose. Thankfully, it isn’t easy. Every day is a battle against the fears. But with each fight comes the healing of tougher skin. So everyday is a success, and another step in the right direction. This is what life should be all about.

Take what you’ve got, keep the bits you want and replace the bits you don’t want. Build yourself. Value yourself highly. I promise you, it’ll be the best thing you ever do.

To freedom,

Scotty Stevens
The Humanpreneur
"mecum et incipio et finio"

Disclaimer: As per my Terms And Conditions, this post reflects my philosophy at the time of writing, and may not necessarily correlate with my life's outlook as you read it, now.

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